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Should men remain ignorant

February 3, 2010

In the scheme of things, women study birth, men don’t. But since the seventies, men have been requested to go to births. Their mates say, you must experience this with me. Men went and men were of little help according to most midwifes and doctors. Dr. Odent from France, famous and outspoken, was interviewed and said something like “Hey men shouldn’t be at birth ever.”

For most men, they would rather not be involved. So why is it that this experience is something women wanted men at — the support. Well if they are not providing support, maybe it is because they are ignorant. First, they are ignorant of what they should do, and secondly they are ignorant of what they shouldn’t do.

When I wrote “Men at Birth: A Guide to a Successful Childbirth Experience,” I suggested that men learn and find their place in the experience– or if they were to uncomfortable, that they should hire the support women need. When men are in that hospital, and 98 percent of births in the US occur in hospitals, then they are really not supportive of their mates. They actually get in the way. Doctors are known to like ignorant men because they can be used to manipulate their mates into procedures that the docotrs wants and the women don’t want.

Men have a protective instinct. Firemen, police, military and other “men” jobs are natural for them because of this. In “Blindside” the idea is mentioned as well. “Don’t mess with my momma.” When you through a guy into the mix of birth, you aren’t necessarily improving the tranquility of birth. You are bringing in those aggressive instincts. So if men are expressing their manliness, they are bringing into a Venus situation the wrong hormones. The right one is going to stir the love hormone.

So ladies and gents, if you are going to bring a guy into a birth, then content with the realities. First, men need educating. Their uncles, dads, and grandfathers didn’t know anything, so the socialization is lacking. Secondly, women need educating. When I put my book out for men, women in the professional field said it wasn’t needed. These are birth educators, doulas, midwives and doctors. Maybe birth could become sane again if men were educated. Women want their choice in how and where they birth, and don’t want men involved?

I stand by what I’ve known as a lack of education for men, wrote a book, and I know that men need to be encouraged to become educated. Women should know this by now. But I’m afraid their is a double standard here. Childbirth education is lousy for men when given by women. The classes are not designed to educate men really at all. 90 plus percent of those classes are to teach women what they need to know. Men are just dragged into the situation by the pressure of the women. They really don’t hear a guy’s perspective. That what my book offers.

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