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Socializing Men for Childbirth

April 20, 2010

Transfer values iconThe socialization of men in America places little value on participating in childbirth. This begs the question, “Why?” Why don’t men teach men about the value of childbirth?
I once read that you can tell which “god” someone worships by what they spend their time and money on. If you spend your time making money and spending it, then the almighty dollar is your god. If you spend hours on the links, wacking little white balls, watch ever major tournament, and can’t wait until the next “tee time” then you worship at the altar of Arnold Palmer and Tiger Woods.
Hopefully those men who have attended the birth of their children have unlocked a new value in their lives, one that helps them appreciate the preciousness of life and birth. What could be more valuable if you want to honor your budding family, and to show great love and attention to your mate?
My opinion is that having involvement in your child’s birth most likely will change your values more than just becoming a father. Other men agree with me on this topic. You can read the Father’s Forum Online or the National Center for Fathering web sites and see that many of us fathers agree that learning the value of fatherhood is only enhanced by the childbirth experience.
“The birth of a child opens the doorway to discovering the nurturing qualities within us as men. These discoveries not only benefit our children, our partners, and ourselves, but create a new potential for the society we live in.” –Bruce Linton
How do you measure the values of your life? How can becoming a father change your values?
Recently I observed something, which you’ve probably thought about, too. I was looking a Viper. That is just one of a list of cars many guys lust after. You pick one. Well, I’m standing there and out pops this guy in his sixties or seventies. I’m in California, so you know the image. Handsome, polished, white haired, and wealthy. They guy drives away with the top down, and his sunglasses glinting back the California rays. Nice. Cool car! Well what ironies life has. The car has two seats, right, and the other one is empty.
Now what we would have given to have that car at say 21? That’s when we are looking for a date on Friday night, and the car would be the magical touch for securing a romantic evening. The girls would have swooned under our handsome gaze when accompanied by the car of class and distinction – showing our good taste and our great endowment.
So guys usually drive a used truck or sedan and get married, have kids, drive a minivan for years, and never sit in a Viper. I love irony.
Dodge Viper pictBut back to the value system? Being a father is a better value than the Dodge Viper SRT with it’s 8.4-liter aluminum V-10 engine that produces a full 600 horsepower and 560 lb.-ft. of torque and hits 0-60 times are under four seconds. But that is what makes us all different. We each have different value systems. Attend the birth of your children if you want to grow the nurturing and compassionate values you already possess. As always, make your comments below.
Additional Links: Religion and Golf (comedy)
Self Help Magazine: Male Behavior: Nature or Nuture?

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