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Why Men Choose the Hospital

May 11, 2011

Women sometimes superimpose on men their thinking and their bias especially when it comes to childbirth.  Is it any wonder, as most men are tabula rasa when it comes to the topic.  However, when a man senses that he is being told how to think and what to think it sends up strong signals of disrespect.  Respect is the “love” word for men.  Men need respect to do anything; it is what motivates them most.

When it comes to childbirth, most men are headed to the hospitals; that’s statistically accurate, as over 98 percent of childbirths occur there every year.  They choose this because it meets their needs, financially and emotionally.  Why?  First it is what their insurance policies cover for the most part.  Secondly, it gives them a feeling of security, because they believe that birth is not safe outside of the care of medicine.

But deeper than that is if a man feels respected.  They need that feeling of doing everything they can to provide a safe childbirth for their women.  When questioned about how really safe childbirth is in American hospitals, men really are at a loss to explain if the hospital is safer than a home birth, they just trust that the medical establishment says – like sheep headed over the cliff, they just “bah, bah” right over the edge.

Sheep Jump Off Cliff, Bahd News

Nearly the whole of American society agrees with them, and applauds their righteous and protective thinking.  Labor and delivery nurses have told us that they like when men are ignorant of what really goes on in hospitals; they don’t like obstinate men who are interfering with their protocols and procedures.  They love the men who are compliant and flexible, and sign off for every medical procedure, especially when it involves drugs and surgery.

When a woman goes to the hospital with the idea of having a child birthed according to their natural childbirth plan, sometimes men stand up for the plan and take on the medical establishment; they soon find themselves disrespected and dishonored.  Hospital staff really don’t appreciate men advocating for women.  Some men have even been pulled out of birthing suites for interfering with medical procedures and protocols.

Planning a natural child birth is most difficult to accomplish in a hospital, where doctors manage the birth.  The doctors use their technology to monitor and move the birth forward, all but natural.  It can get very uncomfortable when men are trying to stop those medical orders.  Women, who want to go this route, really are taking on more than they can handle by themselves, and often expect their mates to go to bat for them.  Some hire doulas to accompany them to the battle.  For most guys this is a good decision as most men just aren’t knowledgeable enough about childbirth to handle this task themselves.

The problem here is that men are ignorant about all these aspects, and that is what we address on this blog and in our book, “Men at Birth.”  We believe that men need to be walking hand and hand with their mates in making choices on where the birth will occur, who is the birth team, and who is providing support to the birthing mother.  The solution is for men to know how they should support the birthing mother.

Birth is for Family

In summary, the heart of men is to be protective, but as long as they are ignorant they will not know how scary the hospital really is for the woman who wants to have their baby without drugs and interventions – or naturally, as anything else is not truly a natural childbirth.  They will not be able to support childbirth outside of the hospital, because they have been indoctrinated by the American society which holds doctors as the highest authority, and they think that birth is an emergency, and not a natural bodily process.  Until men are apprised of the truth of obstetrics, they will continue to think that they are protecting their investment and their family by choosing the medical model.

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