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Father Don’t Teach Their Sons About Childbirth

May 20, 2011

I spoke with a young man about his coming child, the pregnancy and the looming childbirth.  We discussed his mate’s anxieties about childbirth.  When I asked him about how his father was responding, he basically told me that he felt emotionally supported, but when the topic moved into the sharing of past childbirth experiences, you guessed it, the Dad had not said a word, so this young guy really had no clue what was a comin’.

In a previous piece, I wrote about the lack of birth talk.  Guy just don’t talk about birth, because past generations were excluded from birth.  But my generation were the ones first allowed into the birth rooms and hospitals to participate en masse.  We do know about it, and some of us have written books to help educate guys about it.

Men seem to share a common bond of wanting to ensure their mate has a safe time of it, but they really aren’t aware of how they impact the situation by their presense, their participation, and their knowledge base.   They also are not aware of how a birth can impact their personal relationship with their mate.

Men, get it straight, IT ALL MATTERS.  Everything you say and do!

Childbirth is about the single most important experience you will have as a couple — it is the #1 life experience for most women, and it better be important to you.  If you care about your relationship, then you better start learning about this critical season.  Put you money where your mouth is, and do something.  Go to the prenatals, read books, talk with other guys — form some opinions, gain some knowledge; this will show your love that you care.

Many guys make a big mistake and cower away from the whole thing — I understand that 10 percent of men don’t even go to the birth of their children.  Now that is understandable for those with weak stomachs and for idiots.  BUT — those with weak commitment and care should not be trifling with a woman who is birthing their children.  You might as well put up a Sign:

Women tell me that when a guy can’t be there for childbirth, they often mark it down to character — meaning bad character.  Women have said on more than one occassion something like the following:  “I decided to dump him when he didn’t pay any attention to me during the birth and instead watched the game on the TV.”

I try and tell guys that childbirth is much like sexual relations.  The more loving and attentive you are with a woman, the more cherished she feels, the better chances of having her birth her baby well.  The same hormones that bring about orgasm are the ones triggering the contractions.  Your Daddy didn’t tell you that!

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