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Relationship Killer: Video Game Addiction

June 2, 2011

Being a birth navigator is nearly the same as being a life navigator, except it is more condensed and focused.  When you run into complications on the road of living in a relationship, you need to learn to adapt.  Adaptation is just learning what you have to do to survive.  But navigation requires learning and developing maps and coordinates, systems for adapting intelligently.  Reading and writing are the highest forms of adaptation which allows us humans to pass on smart ways of living.

Yet when it comes to relationships, the intelligent systems seem to be poorly disseminated.  People seem to think they don’t need to learn about relationships, and therefore fail most miserable in all classes and levels of education.  We see it all the time that high level business, government, entertainment and sports figures have their marriages collapse.

Now we all know that a great majority of marriages fail, but what are the cultural indicators for failing marriages?

In a study recently done in Great Britain, 15% of marriages were shown to have failed due to of all things video gaming.  The generation that is in their 20s has grown up with Xboxs, Play Stations, and Nintendo, plus computer games by the digital ton.  The women involved in the study stated that the gaming (especially World of War Craft and Call of Duty – two of the most popular games ever) found their men were not even aware of their failings as husbands.  Social networking such as Facebook and other electronic communications like text messaging must be impacting marriage as well.  These forms of shallow if not poor communication can’t have a positive effect on marriages.

What is the focal point of these failures?  The men do not recognize their wives’ needs for relationship.  Men are failing to see how the time they spend with their mate is related to the quality of the time they put into their relationship.  This is something directly related to our writing in Men at Birth, where we found that men who were not connected to their mates during pregnancy and childbirth were damaging their relationships.

In my mind, I constantly go back to what past generations of men taught other men in social settings about family, marriage and relationships.  The truth is that men are not effectively teaching other men about any of this.  That’s why we wrote our book, and that’s why women should be recommending it, but as far as social intelligence, you would think that guys would understand that spending 8 hour a day advancing your level 49 Paladin or mastering Zombies Ascension is not going to set a good environment for developing family, marriage or if it matters one’s own person.

Besides complicating marriage, video gaming is also causing disturbances within the social fabric at other levels – especially families where teenagers and college age students are not doing their work but are spending enormous amounts of time online.

Related Articles:

Warning Signs of a Failing Marriages

Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation

Social Consequences of Video Gaming

Excess Gaming Leads to Depression and Bad Grades

Doctor claims 40 percent of World of Warcraft players are addicted

Marriage – How to Meet Your Wife’s Needs and Keep the Magic Alive

10 signs that you’re addicted to videogaming


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